She's really an angel

Holy Moly!
Last night's dream was soooooo WOW!!!!!!!!
No guessing who was in it.
She looked stunning! My god!
The dress she was wearing was so so amazing, and not to mention how sexy she looked in it :O
Ok so before i start this was something close to the dress-

Except it was in like a matt finish and not satin
Omg! She looked so wow in it.
Anyhow, So the dream started when I saw her wearing this dress, but for some reason as I got into the dream she was zipping the dress on, and she kept asking herself-"Where the hell is he?"
I'm guessing she was waiting for me, so I walk over to her and I hold her from from behind, and the zip goes up and it fits perfect for her.
And then she turns around and she gives me that "happy to see me, beautiful and I look so sexy" smile
It gives me shivers I tell you :O
I swear in my sleep, I probably also got it!
Anyhow, then she told me lets dance.
Oh by the way all this time we're standing in the place where those twilight people got married ( picture from the last post)
So then we, start dancing like romantic kind, and suddenly her mom walks in and she's like, you two love birds are damn cute O.o
I did not expect that! :P
But she was there, her mom is damn sweet in general :)
Suddenly she goes away, and aksh actually becomes and angel, it was so cool!!!!
You should have seen her wings! It was so.....Wow!
And she was glowing man! dude it was so crazy!
And she looked unbelievably beautiful!
Then I just fell down and kept staring at her in awe, oh and I was wearing a tuxedo.

At its peak

Well what's at its peak right here is the depression, the missing, love?
It's frustrating !
I miss that smile
I miss her smell (It was just unbelievable, so unique)
I miss her laugh
I miss her eyes, the way she used to look at me
I miss her hair, the way she used to swing it around
I miss her walk,  that bounce in it
I miss her hand and the way she used to run it into my hair when she hugged me
I miss everything about her :(
She's not gone.
But i feel empty.
She means something to me, she certainly does.
It;s a kind of love I can never explain.
I do anything to rewind, to forget, to change.
All just for her :(
I miss you my angel.
Sony. 

Back on track ?

Now its almost like I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but without her there isn't much of a point now is there.
Last night was probably the most confused dream I had about her.
She was there, standing looking at me, she was in her socials dress, and she told me how much she loved me.
It was almost certainly a dream come true, and not much like a dream at all.
But before i could say anything, she ran away from me in tears.I've never seen her in tears :(
It was horrific, with this song playing in the background - 

It was this weird, this was the first song that I knew all the lyrics to when I was a 8 years old.
My dad used to play it to me and I sang along with him. Then, it was excitment because it was a song I knew and i felt proud I could sing with my dad.
Now its just pain.
But if I didn't mention it before, she looked like a goddess :O
I half expected to see her yesterday, i wanted to play for her again.She's awesome to play for :)
Her voice is very piano suited but she knows how to gel it so well with a guitar too.There was this music competition at the club, the small kids were, well small and lame.
But the elder catogories were awe inspiring, only if she came :(
She would have owned it!!

All good things come to an end

Well....
As the saying  goes all good things certainly do come to an end
But lets say I have no regrets, I will always love her.
BUt bloody hell whatte journey it has been
FOOF!
Some pinack stuff.
But there's something which I'm proud of, and stuck to.I promised myself I would never kiss her until I am sure I will make this the best relationship for her. In the words of Christina Perri in her song 'Jar of Hearts' she say's "I wished I had missed the first time that we kissed"
Never did I want that to happen. Atleast I lived upto that.
Well life is odd isn't it, odd creatures we are indeed
But who knows this could "Goodbye could be a second chance :) "

Sad stuff

Sometimes you know the person you love doesn't want to talk to you, not only because you looked at her expecting her to look back with that smile, but because her friend looks at you with a disappointed face.
Love is funny.
I don't want say this the beginning of the end, but when she doesn't talk to me it so badly feels like that.
Apparenty, after i recollected the missing parts from the night, my ex rode me to another party, and i didn't know, cause after angel left i got angry and stormed out, drunk out of my mind..and the ex followed cause apprently i was going to get killled.
No surprise there.
Well anyhow we went to my bike, and angel saw us. Misunderstood.
And now she isn't talking to me .
And all of this I didn't know, and the next thing i knew
I was at another party.
In a relationship, if there isn't some amount of trust, you're not going to get anywhere.
I've learnt that over time.
But I guess it's hard sometimes.
Who knows what will happen now, but I pray everyday she won't leave.
If I have shown you this today, or this the last post and you've seen it
I'm sorry, and I can't keep telling you how much I love you.
But it really seems like you don't believe me.
But if I could really tell you how much you meant to me... that alone would probably take a life time.
I don't want to stop posting about you though, dreams won't suffice.

Productive

The last 72 hours....
LOTS !
It started with picking her up twice in a row, well the first time was just a coincidence, the second time was a "Coincidence"
Finally, we decided to go together for socials, BY.THE.WAY! EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!
Anyhow.
More of the important stuff happened in the last 24 hours
We we're together through the whole time she was there, it felt awesome :)
She looked exceptionally angel like, so so pretty.
It was awesome to spend, well atleast some time with her, she's........
I don't even know the best was to describe her or what its like to be with her, but what would come close to is
"Its like reaching heaven and God told you the place is yours till I'm back"

Something close to that.
Last night certainly meant alot.
Also a result why I am taking a rather long time to type this out, I am exceptionally blazed and my mind is absolutely dead!
I Love You My Angle* :) 

One of those days....

Well.... after a point where you get close to used to what is still your dream lady, it develops into a relationship, which sprouts normal situations and obstacles you face.
It wasn't a fight, it felt like we ignored each other for a brief period of time, it happened yesterday but well time is scarce. A reason we both didn't know but well, it happened.
But we both know we wanted to pass it cause today, just suddenly, it was all better.
Anyhow things like this happen, it passes just helps us grow.
I have to find the most appropriate way to ask her for socials. She actually thought I was asking her through a text message XD
Funnnnnyyyy girl she is.
Oh! hahaahhaha
She was complaining today how "Blah" and horrible her exam was, physics i cant blame her
So i say- "It's alright, Whats tomorrow?"
And she replies saying- "Friday why?"
Well isn't she the smartest.  

Friday the 13th

WOAH! its Friday the thirteenth :O
Something bad happen ? Nah! :P
It was quite alright actually, except that these wretched exams are still going on :/
Damn things still suck.
Today I tried to act annoyed with that angel of mine, tried! didn't work very well. I'm such a sucker for that pretty face, gosh!
So my friend likes her friend, which means her friend sticks to her and my friend sticks to me :P
we're look like one fantastic four couple scene :P whatever that means LOL!
So they we're busy ignoring us, guys.. because they were busy with their own friends :/

So my friend and I decide lets make them feel bad :P
Didn't work very well. Ah other wise it was a pretty fun day.
I was going to surprise her at her house but that didn't work out too well either, damn friday the 13th :P

Buy a little help from my friends.... sure

I remember a day like this once before, full of so many emotions.
Ah but never the less, the mere glance at her angel face makes it all better.
It was such a bleh day, with these damn exams going on its enough to drive someone crazy.
On top of that, there was a fight.. Sometimes I feel my friends who are supposed to guy's act worse than 5 year old girls.
Anyway, I saw her today. That's what matters right :)
I Love the way she say's "Hie" with that colgate smile, and those eyes OO :P
She waited for me, until i finished my exam, because mine take longer than hers at least by an hour
But her friends were there of course..
The same friends who hated me- (Probably still do)
Here's the only other post i found.
" Oh yuck! what a freakish day! It sucked balls!
Her friends hate me!
Dude! I never work like that, the approach is always through the subjects friends once you get on thier good side only then can you go for the target.
Damn bloody shit!
There must be something else i can do, I WILL GET HER BACK! "
Lol that was the post when i found her friends absolutely hate me for not understanding her hints :P
For when you read this Akshu, your hints are hard
Oh yes "Akshu" that's one of the current pet names
its the first two letters of her two names and "u" cause it just works. :P 

The new begining

Well since it's gone might as well start a fresh :)
I'll start posting again what I can remember, and also for that day

Well "US" has come a long way, most part of it started in november end, I knew ever since my mistake that I would try my best to atleast get her back as my best friend...
I made that mistake once before, I vowed never to do that ever again in my life.
This girl means something to me, I don't want to ruin what I have.
Along the way, I wanted to sum her up into one word, and nothing matched better than "Angel" :) 
It was also the day I started calling her that, but she didn't know.
Woah! she soooo looks like that picture, Foof!
Today, we both began our Pre-final exams, its good when we both have it together, makes sense that way, cause we're both studying (supposed to be) and we'll also see each other , But that's only when we have an exam on the same day.
Poor thing she has one every day right till the 21st
She looked pretty today with her blue eye liner, all sparkly and blah blah.
There was no typo for today, she's deactivated her account yet again :P
She's bound to be back soon.

Yeah its her again..

LOL! By luck i found this, it was one of my posts, because I had accidently, saved it... and well i never deleted it... :P and this ugly picture was also a part of it :D  

"Last night was her again, all in her pretty-ness and that smile
oh that smile is just ecstatic...
Ecstatic, i just wanted to use that word today
probably not even in the right context
hmmmm... anyway
It amazes me how, in my dreams I don't usually remember anyone's face but just know that it's that person because of they're name so i just assume its them... you know what i mean?
Nevermind... She's just more than what words can explain
I swear i will find her
But i guess I'd have to make do with my dreams for now "

So who is she.....

So I guess I wasn't allowed to keep a blog unchecked for long, cause my last one under the same name was removed :/

Although I do remember that my very first post had this title...
It was how it all started....
This absolute fantasy girl from my dreams, So so pretty....
I was destined to find her i was pretty sure my day will come when I find her and it won't only be in my dreams
Never the less i went on in my life posting daily about the dreams i had about this girl, and how I was certain i would see her.
Then it occured to me one day in one of my posts probably she was this combination of alll the speacial qualities i had seen in a girl and it was all compiled together and made this super woman of my dreams...
So beautiful,so amazing, charming, loving, that amazing amazing smile...
wow she was everything....
But i gave up hope, and thought i was a bit stupid for such thinking, and thought well atleast the blog posting was a good past time.
I left it for a long while, until this one day.. if only i remembered the date
I saw her, i mean I didn't know was it her? was my mind playing tricks on me?
I mean I found her in the most oddest of places, she probably wasn't her but well she matched (almost exactly) the girl in my head
WOAH! I was dumbfounded and never concentrated for that day, and dear go that post was pretty funny I think I broke the "shift" key that day, only after it was over i realised i could have used Caps lock :P
So where I found her,
I was in school (I still am, last year though)
[and for the record this happened in 2010]
So in my school ( back then) I was "Vice music captain", fascinating post it was indeed
anyhow, it meant i was in the school brass band, and i was, well one of the captains.
It was good and all blah blah, there we're posts of that without doubt, she was in it.
I had practice days on monday, wednesday and friday
One friday when the whole band is there, we have common practice
And Oh my God, bless my soul
I found her in the band.. who would have known...
But yes i did and she was there, not as I imagined but she was there, the way she stood in the light, it certainly was her.
Oh god, I swear i couldn't think straight then... screwed up while playing, couldn't talk properly... gosh it was something TheRJT has never felt :P
It surprised me, I was certainly in a state of mixed emotions..
She was my junior, and i wasn't sure if it was the best thing to do ?
i didn't want to screw up a band relationship
Band is family.Always.
Most of the posts went on like this.. how zapped I was at who resembled mystery girl, everything was so different, but yet i kept the same name of my blog, it was almost like i couldn't accept that she was the one..
besides at that point I was in this relationship that was supposed forever lasting (that sooooo worked :P NOT!) 

It was a whole new something, This girl who I knew but well, not well enough and besides, If i tell her this she'd probably flip or something, there we're these series of posts at that point whether to tell her or not, because by now i had already succeeded in making her my best friend ( cause lets face it she's stll the one that resembles her)
It was nearing the end of the year closing in on a school event ( music Competition)
I was asked to play for her, but well i was asked by alot of people ( im cool :D )
Sorry...
Anyhow, the big day came (day of music comp, sorry i was lame)...There was considerable amount of hints that she liked me, I was not even close to ready to tell her.
Music comp. passed, she sang like an angel...
but i had no idea what i had done, I screwed it up without even realising that she..well  "Unfriended" me :(
It hurt, unlike anything.
I asked her, she said it wasn't anything, at this point I stopped posting
I saw it as a closed chapter, something that I certainly screwed up....
I passed it by like nothing happened, until school opened again ( Music competition is always in december, and then the school closes for Christmas vacations)
I met her, by this time we spoke about the whole thing, i decided it still wasn't the time to tell her, besides she liked her class mate, who she had apparently like forever.
It seemed normal, she's a junior, she's bound to like someone her own age?
Loads of time passed... (Probably the reason why the blog was deleted :P )